Being in a relationship merely for the label that comes with it is wrong, very wrong. You can’t be in a relationship simply because you don’t like being single or because everyone around you seems to be having the time of their lives with someone while you’re sitting alone. There’s nothing wrong about being single, you shouldn’t need a relationship just for the heck of it or just to show it off to people that you’re not single anymore. Be single for as long as you want, and be committed to someone when you feel it, it’ll come naturally.
1. You’re too busy for someone:
This is an additional point to my previous point. If you think you’re someone who’s “too busy” in your life, make sure you’re not when you start seeing someone. When it comes to love and relationships, you just can’t tell someone you don’t have the time to see them or talk to them because you’re too busy with work or something else, that is more hurtful than most things in a relationship. Set your life straight, manage your time properly and be with someone when you’re definitive about giving time to them without any excuses. We are all busy in our lives, it’s all about priorities.
2. You’re forcing yourself:
If you feel like you’re forcing yourself into a relationship or for a relationship, you definitely don’t need to be in that relationship. We all have that gut feeling when we completely love someone and when we feel the love coming in. When you’re not completely sure, that uncertain feeling leads to rushing into a relationship or forcing yourself into one, which will only lead to bad things because your heart wasn’t completely in it to begin with.
3. You’re not ready to settle down as yet:
A lot of people are scared of commitments. Relationships require a lot of work, no relationship has worked out unless both people work hard enough on it or for it. It’s not easy being in love, they show it very differently in movies but the realities are completely different. When you start going out with someone, there are a lot of things that happen along with it. A lot of personal changes, a lot of lifestyle changes, a lot of sacrifice, I’m not saying it’s not good for you but some of you may not be comfortable with those things, so make sure you’re ready to commit before you actually commit.
4. You recently came out of a relationship:
This is the first and most important one of them all. If you just recently came out from a relationship, you need to give yourself some time. A lot of damage had been done and it takes months to properly heal yourself and not fall back into those dark memories and the sorrows of loss that come with them. Take time out for yourself, be with family, hang out with friends. Don’t jump the relationship wagon so soon, you won’t be able to give your 100% to someone and that won’t be fair to them at all. Only when you completely love yourself again is when you can finally date someone with everything you’ve got.
I was with someone like this once. The memories of her past relationship still kept haunting her and no matter how hard I tried, it didn’t work out in the end. Don’t be that person to someone, don’t give them a trauma because of your past. Save your energy and use it when you’re ready.