10 WAYS TO AVOID DIVORCE OCCURRING IN YOUR MARRIAGE

10 Ways to Avoid Divorce and
Build a Better Marriage:
When the going gets tough in marriage, many
people take what they believe is the easy way
out, assuming that the answer to finding true joy
and happiness is separating from one's spouse,
finding someone new, or divorcing.
When pain, hurt, discord, selfishness or
unhappiness make their way into one's heart,
many convince themselves that divorce will free
them. Yet exactly the opposite is true. Let's look
at the false freedom we think we will obtain by
walking away from an unfulfilled marriage.
" 'I hate divorce,'  says the LORD God of
Israel." (Malachi 2:16)
Are these open secrets or hidden truths

10 Ways to Avoid Divorce and
Build a Better Marriage:
When the going gets tough in marriage, many
people take what they believe is the easy way
out, assuming that the answer to finding true joy
and happiness is separating from one's spouse,
finding someone new, or divorcing.
When pain, hurt, discord, selfishness or
unhappiness make their way into one's heart,
many convince themselves that divorce will free
them. Yet exactly the opposite is true. Let's look
at the false freedom we think we will obtain by
walking away from an unfulfilled marriage.
" 'I hate divorce,'  says the LORD God of
Israel." (Malachi 2:16)
Are these open secrets or hidden truths?

1. Communicating with your spouse is an
essential element of prevention. What is not
communicated is not shared. What is not shared
creates separation. What separates leads to
unbridgeable distances. And distances destroy
unity. What breaks down unity ends up
extinguishing and dissolving any relationship,
until each of the spouses becomes a stranger for
the other.
Silence and lack of communication are the
greatest enemies of marriages. It is compelling
that 82% of married women consider
the lack of communication in marriage as the
most frequent and most important problem for
couples.

2. Respect and admire each other. Respect and
admiration are also fundamental means of
resistance against marriage conflicts. For a
conflict to develop between the spouses, they
must necessarily lose their admiration for each
other.
When mutual admiration is extinguished, the
loss of respect – at the beginning only in words
and gestures – is near.
This initial loss of verbal respect sometimes
carries over – all it takes is for a spouse to be
more irritable than usual, or to "lose control"
for a moment – into lack of physical respect; or,
in plain English, into domestic violence.
It is very difficult for a couple to experience a
crisis if they not only maintain their mutual
admiration and respect, but increase it as the
years go by.

3. Don’t shy away from difficulties or insist
on differences. In order to try and solve
problems, the first thing you have to do is
identify them and deal with them then and
there.
If difficulties are silenced and put on the back
burner, what was small will grow and what was
of little importance at first ends up exploding
and triggering a crisis.
Sharing each other’s lives largely consists in
learning to solve the little problems of each day
successfully together.
The differences between men and women are
indelible and unchangeable; it is not
constructive to go back to them over and over
again.
The differences that make each spouse unique
are there for a noble purpose: they complement
and enrich each other and help each other grow.
Respect for those unchangeable differences is an
excellent opportunity for both to get to know
themselves better.

4. It is essential to devote time, patience and
tenderness to the other spouse. Love
demands time, attention and dedication.
Whoever doesn’t pay attention, doesn’t
understand. Those who are always in a rush
don’t notice the situation of the other person,
for the simple reason that they move through
their shared space without allowing themselves
to be impacted or affected by their spouse’s
presence.
People who love each other must exercise the
necessary patience, at least as much patience as
is needed to raise and give a good education to a
small child.
 If the above conditions are met, tenderness will
grow and spread into the other spouse’s heart.
Then, and only then, all the complaints about
whether or not they have told each other that
they love each other, or whether or not they
admire each other, will cease, because
tenderness is the objective demonstration of
that love, a silent declaration more powerful
than any words, which almost never goes
undetected.


5. Strive to lead a full and active sex
life. Se xual relations are necessary in a couple’s
life. They are not, of course, the most important
thing, but they are one of the first conditions
that define the couple and that must be
satisfied.
Se xuality may – and, in fact, usually does –
require a certain amount of effort, above all if –
as ought to be the case in a marriage – each of
the spouses forgets about him or herself and
only thinks about fully satisfying the other.
or hidden truths?
Even here, mutual self-giving must be active
and cannot be omitted, renounced or impeded.
It is not uncommon that couples at times use
sexuality either to resolve other problems,
when they were unable to come to an
agreement, or, by withholding s*x, to keep
demanding, fighting and extending problems
rooted in other areas of their married life whose
content is very different.
The right way to deal with problems is that each
one be resolved precisely in the context in
which it arose, and to which it obviously
belongs, without the spouses allowing
themselves to take revenge in other contexts
that are totally unrelated to the original one and
cannot substitute it.

6. Establish and respect the other spouse’s
necessary space for personal freedom. The
fact that husband and wife are "one flesh"
should not be understood as a union that leads
to the fusion of the two and a loss of distinction
between the individuals.
Marriage, of course, makes the one flesh, but
at the same time – and this is a mystery – both
conserve all of the unique characteristics of
their genuine personalities.
Consequently, it is necessary to define the
necessary space of personal freedom which is
appropriate for each one of them and which the
other neither can nor should attempt to invade
or cease to respect.
In the professional life, for example, this is an
ethical imperative that can never be trampled.

7. Keep a balanced and flexible division of
tasks and roles. The diverse talents of each one
of the spouses, their uniqueness and the
efficiency that comes from division of labor
demand that these duties be shared between
them.
The most logical solution is that whoever is
most gifted for a specific task or who can
carry it out with the least effort should be
the one to do it.
It’s not a matter of "lending a hand" with the
least pleasant tasks just as an excuse for
loading the other person down with more work.
It’s simply a way of being more efficient, but
without getting bogged down in functionalist
utilitarianism.
This is why, if one of the spouses sees that the
other one does some task or chore that requires
a lot of work, he or she should take the initiative
to do it sometimes, or to help the other do the
job.
A couple doesn’t come together to take away
from each other, but to give; they should
multiply each other, not divide, focusing more
on what joins them than what separates them.
In a certain way, a husband and wife become
cofounders in equal parts of a single business,
in which you cannot define exactly what
belongs to each one, because what belongs to
one also belongs to the other – because
everything belongs to both.
Here, both are equally responsible, coexisting
and co-participating in everything that happens
to both.

8. Foment a certain extra solidarity: The very
fabric of the couple is torn by
incomprehension and the feeling of solitude.
Being a couple means companionship, absence
of solitude, communion.
It’s not uncommon to see couples who maybe
love each other very much and are well
balanced, but you can see that something is
missing. They are husband and wife and
excellent parents, but… they are not
companions! The life of one has not been
inseparable companionship for the life of the
other.
In these cases, what is missing is the generosity
to open up one’s interior life – often the most
difficult thing to do – and offer it and give it
with pleasure to the other.
When the two become companions – good
companions, of course – the gift of intimacy
overflows andgives rise to profound joy, which
cannot be hidden. It is found in those who feel
that they are companions, they truly are, in
their work, dreams, desires, expectations,
fantasies, expressions, feelings, projects,
thoughts and memories.

9. Losing interest in your partner will lead to divorce,always do right things at right moment. Keep loving your spouse and don't hold back in still dating your spouse in marriage,Remember anything that lose interest is useless, don't lose interest in your partner

10. Abandoning God will cause couples a lot pains and sorrow in their marriage, always pray together,make God the foundation of your marriage, to have a successful marriage you need God everyday, there are always challenges in marriage, only God will give you knowledge and understanding to handle them maturely.

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