A woman may give you her body and her heart, but there are parts that she’ll never give up. Pieces woven into the very fiber of her being. Mysteries only hinted at in a passing sly smile, an inscrutable laugh.
She knows all of your vitals—from the size of your bank account to the size of your other, um, holdings.
When her friend smirks at you knowingly, you are not imagining it. She knows. So just know that she knows, and deal with it. (It’s not going to change.)
Chat with her about your relationship at your own risk. Your secrets are not safe with her. This is not always a bad thing (e.g., if you happen to be telling her how much you love your girlfriend). But, in general, remember that she is your girlfriend's confidante first, and yours never.
2. When you go away, even for a day, she sleeps in your favorite old T-shirt.
Because it smells like you.
3. She’ll never tell you exactly how many men she's slept with.
No matter how sincere she appeared when she answered your question, chances are she wasn’t.
As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she’s slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to seven.
4. She has Google your exes.
When she's falling in love with you, she completely loses her appetite.
She only appears to have it all together
5. She still thinks about her ex-boyfriends and compares them to you.
Mostly you win. Sometimes not. (Nevertheless, here are 5 Things Her Ex Can Teach You.)
When she says, "I'll meet you in 15 minutes," she means she will leave in 15 minutes. And thus, she won’t actually arrive for at least 30 (but probably more like 40).
7. You’ve made her cry more times than you’ll ever know.
8. She obsesses about when you’re going to call her again.
The period of time between your first date and your “Thanks for a great night; when can I see you again?” always seems stretched into slow motion.
So don’t worry about looking too eager. Call. Even if you only wait until noon the day after, it will feel like a lifetime to her.
And don’t send her an email or text unless you want her to put you in the figurative trash can along with your message.
9. She wants you to talk a little dirty.
(You heard her! Learn The Best Things to Say before, during, and after S*x.)
At the beginning of your relationship, she saves all of your voice mails and listens to them (and make her friends listen, too), repeatedly.
10. She might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave her legs because she likes you.
As crazy as it sounds, the more she likes you, the less likely she is to sleep with you on an early date, because she doesn’t want to sabotage having a "proper" relationship with you.
So she just might purposely hunt out the ugliest underwear in her drawer and not shave her legs—all to prevent herself from getting naked with you too soon.
Sometimes she might get a little tipsy or carried away, and this plan will backfire.
11. She's constantly testing you.
She observes, analyzes, and judges every action, word, gesture, email, and facial expression.
When she asks you if you want to have a threesome, she doesn’t mean it. If you want her to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you after this conversation, the answer should always be, “Why would I want to sleep with another woman when I have you?”
12. She loves it when you get a little jealous.
So if you ever see her flirting in front of you with the waiter, the bus driver, or another guy at a party, know she's actually flirting with you—through him.
She's trying to force emotion out of you. Don’t retreat into your cave; just give her what she wants: some attention. And never tell her to “calm down,” unless you want to guarantee that she absolutely won’t.
14. She may find your best friend repulsive, but she's fantasized about sleeping with him.
Not because she wants him, but because she wants a piece of a guy who is so close to you.
15. She wants you to take control in bed.
Yes, she has a successful career, she's financially independent, she lives on her own, and she doesn’t need a man to make her happy (in theory). She still wants you to pick her up, carry her to the bedroom, and take without asking
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