You've become completely insecure: This is a classic sign in every relationship marred by gaslighting. Both partners are deeply insecure, but the victim's lack of confidence goes beyond her abuser's lack of confidence. She literally loses herself and her identity and adopts the one her significant other is trying to feed her. "If you are insecure and don't have a strong sense of self, you will give the power to the other person as a way of being attached," says couples therapist Dr. Jeanette Raymond, author of Now You Want Me, Now You Don't!. "But you're giving away your mind!" The insecure gaslighter "attempts to feel secure by controlling his partner's perception of herself."
Your arguments with him go in circles: If your fights make your head spin because of the outlandish things he says you did or his way of distorting reality — and you honestly believe him when he says it's all your fault — watch out. It could be a sign that you're a gaslighting victim in your relationship.
You keep doubting Gaslighting victims start believing their abuser's perception of reality instead of their own. "The gaslightee begins to second-guess herself because she has allowed another person to define her reality and erode her judgment," Stern says. So if your guy is constantly raising his eyebrows at you and spins things in such a way that you seriously doubt your own version of events, take a long, hard look at what's going on.
0 comments:
Post a Comment