
1. “I Pull Out Before I Shoot Out’ Didn’t they tell you that your pre-cum has enough sperm from your last wank session to father a child? Oh okay, you pee in-between sessions. Nice move. But you can’t honestly tell me that there weren’t a few slip-ups in all your pull out encounters. You and I know that the sweetest part is when you offload all your goods in the right warehouse. So stop applauding yourself for staining the sheets. And just a little reminder, someone in the bible days died because of this type of thing.
3. ‘I Tear Open The Condom Package With My Teeth’ It’s good to get the mouth, and sometimes even the teeth involved during Se x but please, use your fingers to tear open the condom package. Why? To avoid poking a hole into the condom, stupid. The only hole you should be poking should be… never mind. The wise ones understand what I’m talking about.
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4. Putting On Or Taking Off The Condom During Se x Okay, seriously I don’t get this part. You start having Se x then halfway, for whatever reason, you say ‘oops! sorry, I forgot to use a condom’ and then you put one on. Have you heard of pre-cum? Obviously not. Google it. Then for those of you who decide ‘this condom thing is killing my vibe’ and decide to remove it halfway, please go for quality stuff next time or learn how to wear on a condom correctly or just get married and stay faithful mbok.
6. I’ve Had The Condom For Three Years: My dear brother, I know it’s a quality brand product and probably cost you a few hundred naira and you’re saving it for prime V, or just maybe you haven’t been laid in a long time; but it’s no reason for you to leave it in your wallet until it either expires or becomes useless. Use it when it’s still good or throw it away.
Also read:2 THINGS YOU NEED TO DO IF YOU ALWAYS FALL IN LOVE WITH WRONG PEOPLE
7. ‘I Like My Condom Tight’: And so you push your p*n*s all in to fill the condom tip. Bros, unless your p*n*s is shaped exactly like a condom, please desist from tightening things in there. You have to leave that space for the spill. If you don’t, the condom will break. I’m tempted to say it’s not ‘rocket’ science but erm
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